Tuesday, October 26, 2010


I have a lot of shopping in my near future.   Even though, I'll be going to Homecoming as a guy for the most part, I'm still expected to shop for and purchase a dress appropriate for Homecoming.   I also need to buy or borrow some Halloween costumes.  The problem is when the girls help me, I wind up having to model a whole lot more than what I actually need.  I still cannot fathom how I got into this spot so fast.  We're not just talking about girl's Halloween costumes, but sexy girl's Halloween costumes.   As for those of you like Amy, who think I'm getting what I deserve, no guy deserves to have to be turned feminine like this.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

I'm Speechless

I had to post this.  I don't know what to say.

Things I know

Amber is a guy.  After several romantic kisses, I was a bit upset to find the truth out, but I never was angry at him--only at being set up.   Wow, I was very close with Amber obviously and never suspected.   What finally gave it away was knowing that there were other sissies.   When I knew to be looking for guys dressed as women, I noticed his voice was just slightly off and I explored what was under his sweater very quickly and found form.  He was really worried about how I'd take it and at the time I told him, I'd never allow myself to be put in that position, but thinking about it, I can't really say that for sure.

I did call Shelia to announce her jig was up and her reaction was to laugh.  She told me the others had found out much faster than I did and that if Mistress swore I was always borrowing her clothes and they had pictures to prove I was and lots of pictures showing what a natural I was, nobody would believe it wasn't totally my doing.  If you add to that what they have on me at work and all the pictures, I guess I am kind of sunk.  Sheila told me the price for her silence was to simply keep obeying as I have been.  They have kept the secrets of the other girls more or less I guess.  She also told me I would be Amber's date for Homecoming.

I won't lie.  This is scary.   I didn't expect this to last this long and it doesn't seem to have an end in sight.  I do have my limits though.  There are some things I will not be pushed into. 

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Conflict of Interest

One of my jobs as a TA is to evaluate students.  I grade papers and have a huge effect on my students' grade in class.  I have no idea what to do about grading people with so much control over me.  They have told me to grade them like any other student and point out I haven't always been so ethical.  This just feels awkward.   My breast forms have been shipped and will be here soon.  Somebody asked before where I got them.  Try the Breastform Store.  That's actually what it's called. You can google it.  Mistress Sheila is getting irritated at my inability to do my own makeup so she's insisting I practice at least 1 hour everyday and of course she told Mistress Kristy so I will be timed.   Sometimes, it's not easy being me.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Mistress Kristy

I'm trying to figure out the new situation with Mistress Kristy.   I was able to talk things over with her and she didn't budge.  She admitted that I have always been a gentleman with her, but admitted her friends and acquaintances who knew we roomed together were always curious because there are rumors about me as a TA.  I would say, I probably need to be careful for my job anyway, but having lingerie on underneath my clothes pretty much guarantees that I'm on the straight and narrow.

Mistress Kristy warned me that She not only thought the punishment fit the crime, but had no problem using it to her advantage.  I will not only be expected to cook, clean, and serve as her maid, but deciding what to watch on the television isn't going to be a joint decision anymore.  Our tastes are actually fairly similar.

True to her word,when I got in today she gave me 45 minutes to be "appropriately dressed and made up" in a way that Mistress Sheila would approve of.   She told me, I still need a lot of work on my makeup.  When one of her friends came over unexpectedly, I wound up hiding in my room for an hour.  At least I didn't have to go in my closet, but I was scared that they'd come in my room.  They didn't.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Tough Shopping Trip

I am feminine enough that if I'm wearing a wig and a dress, I don't draw a ton of attention from a distance.  The key phrase here is from a distance.   We went shopping again today and Sheila had wanted me to get another makeover.   After feeling on display last time, I said nothing doing.  The result was that she made me shop without makeup on.   From a distance no comments, but when I would be close enough to speak with a sales person or to ring up my purchases, it was obvious that I was no girl.  As you can probably figure, I gave in and went for a trip to the makeup counter with the girls.  Amber didn't go with us this time and I was really missing her.  I don't think she would have been as mean about things.

Unfortunately, things went from bad to worse.  As we were unloading the packages from the car, the girls were teasing me about how sexy I'd look in my new clothes and I'd drive boys wild and what a sweet girl I was becoming.  At that very moment, my roommate was studying on her bed right next to the open window.  She heard everything.  When we got upstairs, she wanted to know what was going on.  If she ever believed the lines I fed her about experimenting with femininity, she sure didn't know.

Sheila and her friends sat down and discussed things with my roommate.  She has absolutely no desire to participate in this, but they explained things.   Two of them actually have sissies of their own!!!  I didn't get a chance to press this, but I need to find out more about these guys.  At least they seem to be dating their mistresses.  I thought this was beyond bizarre, but now to find out there are two other guys like me is extremely surprising.

My roommate, now addressed as Mistress Kristy or Ma'am warmed a bit to the idea and agreed to give it a shot on a trial basis.  She agreed that she wouldn't care how I was dressed and in fact, would monitor to make sure I was dressed appropriately and in exchange she would get maid service including laundry and cooking.   If anybody comes over to visit her unexpectedly when I'm dressed, I will immediately go and hide in my bedroom closet.  Basically, I'm a slave now in my own place.  After the girls left, I tried to talk to my roommate and she just told me to put on some makeup and then clean up the apartment.   I obeyed.  Hopefully, I can change her mind later tonight. The fact that she isn't interested in feminizing me gives me hope.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Last Night

Last night's date went pretty well.   I like Amber and she is hot.  However, I don't want to say too much since she knows I have to keep this blog.  She did say that she'd like to go out again, so I'll keep you a little posted.  In case you are reading this Amber, you are a great kisser and last night will hopefully be the first of many.

I came out to my roommate and I felt so embarrassed.   The girls had all the cards and would have left me dressed and tied up for my roommate to find if I hadn't given in.   She's now seen many pictures of me in dresses and she's seen me model a few things live.  It seems like it'll be cool as long as this stays between us.  She warned me about coming out of my bedroom in a teddy and heels if she has a friend over.   She at least agreed to try it and see how it goes.   Sheila told her that I'd be happy to do all the housework and she did like that part. 

I've been warned that the trade off for getting to go on a date last night as a guy is spending this weekend as a girl.  I guess it's a small price to pay.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Working Out

Awhile back, somebody had mentioned a work out outfit as one of the things I should shop for. I can't tell you how pathetic it is that even when I do something manly like working out, I don't look even the slightest bit masculine.  This was not a big work out day. I posed for a few pictures and went for a mile run with Heather and Sheila.   I've been given 48 hours to let my roommate know or have her find out about my dressing.  I can't believe it's come to this.  I know I have a lot of crossdressers reading this.  Have any of you come out to your friends?  How?

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Roommate

I've mentioned my roommate and it appears that this will be a huge bone of contention between the girls and I as they want me practicing all the time and my first priority is in her not finding out about my situation.  They want me to confess to her that I have always been curious about women's clothing and act like this is all my idea.  We'll see how this goes.  My roommate is not a romantic relationship.   I knew her from the Asian Student Union and she's nice enough.  We're both very considerate of each other, though I don't know how she'll feel about me modeling her clothes for pictures. I'm most concerned with her reaction and also it possibly getting out to friends of mine.

Monday, October 11, 2010

I knew this would happen

Today, I was told that in addition to having a modeling session for all the girls this week, I didn't buy all these pretty clothes to have them just hang in my closet.  When my roommate is gone they want me to dress up at home more often.  They have keys and they have told me they will be checking.   I'm really not sure how much longer I can hide this from her.   When I complained about how much shopping I had to do this weekend, even Amanda told me that we had just scratched the surface.

There is one good thing.  One of the girls who is in on this told me that she thinks I'm cute and she meant in male clothes not female clothes.   Her name is Amber and she's a red head which is hot and she's got a very nice body and a great smile.   I'm really impressed that she is able to see passed the dresses and I have asked her out for Friday night.  I am surprised to see that this has opened up a dating possibility for me.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Extra Shopping

We went out and shopped.  Then we came home to drop stuff off.  Then we shopped again.  We went to small boutiques, big stores, and Chinatown. No way is this a Halloween prank.  I spent $420 and the girls spent nearly that much on me.  Amanda was very helpful to me, but she was also pushing me to do more and more.  It was excruciatingly embarrassing.  In Chinatown, I had a woman measure me and she me how to wear Chinese dresses.   In the mall I sat at the makeup counter and had it applied to my face while the girls ooed and ahed.  I wasn't done shopping either.  I had to make an online breast form order this morning.  I'm supposed to be a 34B when this is all said and done, though more than half my bras are A cup for wearing under my male clothes.

The worst part was I was told that all my clothes need to be hung with care in my bedroom closet.  I have to be careful that my roommate never goes in my room.   I said that not counting the $150 breasts, we spent about $800, but that doesn't include all the dresses, skirts, tops, shoes, and so on that I tried on without buying.  It got to the point that I knew whether they'd like something on me or not as soon as I saw it in the mirror, but I still had to come out and model.

Passing was an issue.  I'm not as good in heels as I thought I was and one of the reasons we came home is I just couldn't take much longer in the heels that Amanda had picked out for me.  Sometimes, I passed OK.  Other times, I faked not speaking much English or being shy and demure, which I've noticed Chinese girls always get away with.   There were a lot of times though that the girl's comments or my behavior gave me away, if not to other shoppers, to the saleswoman.

I wound up in Chinatown after the girls struck up a friendship with a Chinese Sales Girl in Forever 21.   She suggested a place for traditional Chinese clothes and raved about the dresses saying she rarely wore the one she got, but it always turned heads.  This girl was clearly loving my squirming and I have a feeling I'll be shopping there again. 

I appreciate the advice I got from you all, but I was not prepared for this.  I thought I'd pick up a dress and some heels and some bras and that'd be it.   Whoever mentioned the email being used for leverage.  I think you're right.

Friday, October 8, 2010

I Caved In

Between some of the posts on here and talking to Sheila's friend Amanda, I decided that the least embarrassing option was definitely to go ahead and beg to go dressed up.  I thought of dressing myself up, but I'm just not that good at it.   It would have been the worst of both worlds to go out in public after I did my own dress, wig, and makeup.  Amanda promised me, she wouldn't put me in anything too ridiculous since she'd be embarrassed too if I was read while she was with me.  Amanda's a lot more reasonable.  I tried to get her to promise me no heels, but she said Sheila would never go for it.  She did promise nothing impossible to walk in.  I'm scared to death about tomorrow.   I wrote down every outfit suggestion you all gave me.  I probably should just get to bed.  It's going to be a long day.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Rough Day

This morning I was forced to give up the keys to my place so that the girls could make copies for themselves.   I was sleeping in and while I was distracted by one of the girls, the other two put a pair of my pantyhose, a bra, and panties in my briefcase.   I was needless to say shocked when I opened the case before class today and found the undergarments.  They giggled and waved at me.  I was able to keep the items hidden and pull out what I needed. 

Later in the afternoon, Sheila came over with her friend Heather and told me it was time for more modeling.  I was a bit surprised because they had no clothing with them and I have very little myself left over from previous modeling sessions.   They proceeded to have me model my roommate's clothes.   Everything was put back neatly and she was none the wiser, but it occurred to me just how powerful these pictures are.  I refused, but they told me if I didn't agree, they'd strip me to my panties and hose and leave me hogtied for my roommate to untie.   I called their bluff, but Heather got me face down with my shirt off, my hands crossed behind my back and Sheila was looking for something to tie me with so I reluctantly agreed.  I literally had to beg to wear my roommate's clothes before they agreed.   They now can show her proof I was wearing her clothes.   They swore to me that she wouldn't see the photos unless I wanted her to.

I am starting to think that shopping this weekend may be easier dress.  I don't want people to see me enter a dressing room male and leave female or hold a dress up to me so the girls can decided how it looks on me.

UPDATE:  I just got off the phone with Sheila.  I called her to tell her, I'd like to go shopping made up to avoid embarrassment and she told me that they had changed their mind and that I should have agreed earlier.  I asked her to reconsider and she told me that if really wanted to have their help looking passable for the shopping trip that I would have to write her an email begging to be dressed up to go shopping and to be enthusiastic and not sound coerced at all.  She said, if my email was good enough she'd reconsider.  That's just not something I'm going to do.   She had told me it was my choice and now she's asking me to beg to be dressed up and act like this is my idea.  It's just not going to happen.  I'll go as a guy and take my chances.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

You're All Very Kind

Somebody had requested me in business clothes with a short skirt, so one of Sheila's friends was happy to loan me her suit. I want you to know that I have not given up the fight. This isn't surrender, it's temporary defeat.  The girls who are doing this read my blog and I was told to ask for things I should model and things that would be good purchased this weekend.  My job has gotten very difficult.   When the girls who originally captured me are in class, they always have something embarrassing for me to do or make comments.  They also find sneaky ways to check that I'm in panties and hose.  This Saturday is going to be rough.   I'll be allowed to shop as a guy, but they've warned me that trying stuff on may be necessary so I may let them make me over before we go.  Please keep the suggestions coming.  There is a magic number I need and I'm very close.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I Need Your Help

After my surprise dress up, I was allowed to change before going home, but I had no nail polish remover there so they went home bright red.  Fortunately, my apartment-mate was out at the time.  I have surrendered control for my appearance.  All these pictures provide a 3rd layer of security to keep me in line. As you know, this weekend there will be a big shopping trip and I'll be putting up quite a large amount of money into my new clothes.

I need your help though.  I would like to thank all my fans for all your support and advice, but I would like to know what kind of outfits you would like to see me in.  This can be an outfit for everyday wear that I should look for when we're shopping or something that I should model for special  photograph.  I will share these suggestions with the women who are doing this to me and we'll try and create some of these looks.  Thank you for your participation XOXO Xiu

Monday, October 4, 2010

Surprise Visit

I was grading papers this afternoon when I got an unexpected visit by 3 girls, a makeup bag, and a quick change of clothes.   They didn't bring me a dress or anything, but they fully made me over including nail polish, which they didn't bring remover for.  They then had me switch from my computer to a laptop with a pink mouse.   I don't get what's going on, but they get pictures of me every single day.  Something's going on here that I don't get. 

I've been told that things aren't changing this week.  Next week I'm supposed to start wearing a bra under my mail clothes--a bra!  I'm freaking about that.  It's going to be very noticeable.  I've also been told that there's going to be a shopping trip this weekend for clothes of my own.  I'm really stuck here, but this is really getting extreme now.

Yes Amy, you summed up my situation pretty well.  A sting is a good word for it.

Sunday, October 3, 2010



Yesterday was a long day.  It started bright and early for photos around campus and outside.  I swear they want pictures of me on every inch of campus.  I never pose twice in the same place and rarely in the same outfit.   I also am unlucky enough that at my size I can fit in all their clothes and these girls have some really trashy stuff.  They pulled it all out too.  During the day we worked on walking in heels.  I've been in them so much that I'm getting way too good at it.  

I told you I was a birthday present.  How insane is that?  Yesterday was the party.  While that was going on, I was at their neighbors tied to a chair watching a feed of Youtube videos.  Somebody would come check on me.  The two types of videos I watched were Crossdress Paradise.

if the purpose here was to show me that JAPANESE guys make convincing girls, mission accomplished. I'm not Japanese. Intermixed were videos from Bubz. This girl is beyond perky. Sheila's friend Heather said this is how they'll expect me to be soon enough. I think they are crazy. She's a cute girl, but after 20 videos that voice of hers really starts to make you wish your hands were free just so you could rip your hair out.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Catching Up

I was up at 5AM this morning so that I could get made up and pose for some pictures outside when the sun came up.  I was given the choice of doing a very early morning photo session or go out later when people could see me.  My photographers have gone back to bed, but I have been told to leave my outfit, makeup, and wig on so there didn't seem much chance of me being able to sleep.  Later on, I will be getting lessons on sitting cross legged, which I have almost got down if I use my hands and walking in heels, which I can't do very well.  I know finding clothes to fit me is easy, but they've got me 4 different wigs.  This is expensive and I can't figure out how they're getting all this stuff.  They keep posing me for pictures in different outfits and they always want to photograph me in new locations.  When this is over, we will have to have a long talk about the disposal of all these pics.

I bought the pantyhose as I was instructed to. I got Hanes Silk Reflections, Leggs Sheer Vitality in darker colors, but they only had Hanes and Leggs so I had to go to Target as well to pick up a third brand.  So far the Hanes are less uncomfortable.

Chrissee,  I wouldn't say I'm marginally willing.  I'm very opposed.  Obviously some guys are into this stuff based by all these comments, but I'm not one of them.

CR, they tricked me into doing something that could get me fired immediately.  They have me over a barrel.  That's the only reason I'm going along with this.  Of course, by doing this to me with the information instead of telling the university right away, they put themselves in danger of getting kicked out themselves.

Anon, I can't see getting used to it.

Red, there are certain things I won't do including.  Wearing this crap is embarrassing and being forced into it by girls is downright humiliating, but it's still just clothes.  Dating would be a whole other level.

Bobby, I had to look up Kathoey.  I'm Chinese and I was born in this country.  That's a Thai thing.  I am most definitely not a "Kathoey"

Amy, as you'll see.  I'm taking more time to punctuate.  I even put in paragraphs.

LB, these girls are attractive.  If I was submissive it'd be hot. I'm the opposite though.  Tying them up could be fun, but being tied up, forced to wear a dress, and given as a birthday present not at all.

Anon, I don't want a better understanding of women.  I have never had a problem finding girls to date and I understand women well enough.

Anon, Being helpless is scary.  When I was dolled up in a mini-skirt that barely covered my crotch, tied very securely to a chair and then left for Sheila to find, I had no idea who I was left for.  I kept having visions of some big guy being the recipient.  The girls are hot and one of them who did this to me actually kind of likes me I think, but  this isn't something I want to experience.   The clothes are very difficult to describe. They feel more sensual and more uncomfortable at the same time.  Heels are crazy.

Anon, I've been doing this before this blog went up.  I won't put up a male picture because I don't want anybody to recognize me, but if you saw one, you'd be able to tell.    The girls who gave me as a present shaved my legs and arms, but I'm not real hairy.  They were going to do my chest and didn't have to. 

Anon, I know you mean it as a compliment, but please don't call me ladylike

Anon, I will not allow my brows to be plucked. 

Friday, October 1, 2010

Not Much Time Tonight

Today was a day for indignities.  I bought the pantyhose and I had to cancel out on a date tonight because of how I knew I'd be dressed. I'm supposed to answer the questions I get, but I'm rather tired tonight and I hate talking about pantyhose, dressing up, and this crap.  Tomorrow I'll reply.  This has been dragging on for so long now.  I thought it'd be over by now.